Last night I walked the red carpet into the Hammerstein Ballroom for a charity boxing event, with lines of hired women in stilettos and mini-dresses greeting me at the door. Upon entry I sought out the closest bar, peering over the shoulders of Wall St. men in their suits when a hand reached out to me.
“Are you lost? You look lost,” inquired a sixty-something man with the cheekbones of Charro and plump lips of Angelina Jolie. I told him I was en route to the bar and he asked to escort me. I really didn’t need an escort and it was a free open bar, but I let him lead the way.
At the bar, I asked for the specialty drink of sparkling wine and Fragoli liqueur… the Fragoli Passion. My plastic-faced escort noted the drink looked good and then turned to me, offering his business card. I read the keywords, “Plastic Surgeon” and it all made sense.
“I can get you a special mask that will do wonders for your face,” he generously offered. Intentions may have been good, but the possibility of emulating his work was not appealing.
I thanked him as he tapped my shoulder. “Southhampton. Wine tasting. Next month and I want you to be there.”
The bartender set my drink on the bar and he reached for it, brought it to his lips and took a sip and walked away. “See you next month,” he responded and disappeared into the crowd.
The black model-esque bartender could not contain herself.
“That drink was for you! What an asshole! That’s the rudest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ll make you another but that was so rude! I’m gonna yell at him!” she shouted in exasperation.
“No, no, it’s fine,” I explained. “Don’t you see, we got rid of him? I don’t care. I’d rather he take off with my drink than stay here and chat. He’s a plastic surgeon who was offering me tips on improving myself.”
“That makes total sense. What a plastic face. And rude! Rude!” she replied.
The karma was returned promptly, as the rest of the night I partnered with my female friends and tag-teamed men with VIP wrist brands to run through the buffet and load plates of entrees, pastas, and decadent desserts.