The past few weeks of this year are truly rolling out like a lion; a carnivorous beast that has left me tired, raw, and missing those who are departed. But it will be time to party it up soon and celebrate a new year. And the song of the year… drum roll please… “Dreams.”
I have the most mundane Christmas list that includes everything from toilet paper to cotton balls to Bailey’s. Some booze and bare necessities are enough to make me seasonal and gleeful. I’m blessed to have friends and family (albeit the latter is often crazy and enervating) and I feel completely blessed. My “big items” for Santa to watch out for are the same they have been since I was 8 years old… to create and perform and inspire others. Hopefully this journey will continue to open doors to fulfillment.
I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas, whether you celebrate or not, just take the time to reflect on all you have and open your heart and mind to the possibilities tomorrow may bring!
In the late stillness of tonight I wandered the glistening streets of the Upper West Side after hosting a rather dreadful party for Ray-Ban. With the misty air blowing against my face, finally away from drunken crowds, I decided it was time to buy my Christmas tree (or my man-designed Christmas bush as some might argue). It’s an upgrade from the tree I had last year, which had only two branches. For some reason this tree is fitting, to the quaintness of my apartment and my life. Picking out this little tree made me think of the gratitude I have for the place I am at in my life, full of joy for the freedom I have to pursue my passions. The occasional jobs really agitate me, and the concerns about money and health care can be overwhelming at times. Yet, lately I have had this quiet but insistent voice just urging me to not concern myself with money… to just do what I need to do everyday to work towards my goals. The closer I’m coming to realizing the next level, the more I’m insistent of appreciating the present moments because I feel a drastic shift ahead. My life is led by simplicity and pure thankfulness and joy for being alive each day. The more I see people going crazy over money and career goals and material consumption and acquisition, the more I sense the loneliness and misery that haunts them as they think these material items will fill their void. I’m happy to not feel that void… to have my Charlie Brown Christmas tree, the smell of pine pitch on my hands, a radiator that’s finally radiating heat, my music, and my cat in my little fifth floor walk-up apartment. As my mother keeps worrying about what’s on my Christmas list… it’s nothing tangible or able to be bought. What I’d wish the most is that everyone could experience the feeling of bliss tonight has brought me every day… and find fulfillment in their own lives. The world would just be a better place.
“Merry Christmas Darling” and “River” can be streamed and downloaded at http://www.box.net/shared/7jo8ph170z
I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday~