Floating Downstream

I was lured into Match.com for a three-day trial, though I haven’t been on that site in a long time. Remember when Match.com was taboo? I was underage and in college and had a field day kudos to that site, but my few encounters were enough to ward me off for years. My friend in Hawaii met her husband on Match and encouraged me to give it another go, so I did. Bombarded with emails, I eventually gave up but for one email that had an instant effect on my world. This older man, offering to set me up with his son, recommended that I check out “The Astonishing Power of Emotions” and I was led to a series of really spiritual videos and passages. One motto is to flow downstream and choose the path of least resistance. And as we’ve all heard before, those who want peace will choose peace.

If ever there was a week for swimming downstream, this would be a great contender. I’ve come to a point in my life, finally realizing I can only choose how I react to certain situations. Like being told by someone you’ve dated that he had a secret child never spoken of that he thought he mentioned years ago. Now I remember the golden rule, but more importantly learned early on (at least by the age of three or four) that it’s not good to lie to friends, even lies of omission. I used to get upset that I had been a magnet for complications or drama, but realize I’m not in the drama. I’m an observer and to float downstream means to just let go of the situation and be grateful my life is relatively simple in comparison.

Another, who I love quite dearly, once had an open stream of communication where he was an open book, pouring out lines of disappointment with the world and swirling in drama (all this before he actually knew me). Trapped in a job he loathes, with familial baggage and a terrible past, he’s only comfortable with relationships that are on the surface and fake. If his time isn’t spent making more money than he needs or spending that money to get people’s attention, then he can’t be bothered. He even created a super-hero role as a steward of prosperity. Once things became too emotional and murky I was banished from contact for some time. I felt saddened that speaking my own truth was considered a betrayal to him. It’s funny that people in my life who create and breathe in the most drama are often the ones to impose rules about how they just can’t take any ripples from me. He has emailed rules such as: “As a reminder, no seriousness or drama toward me, please. Light and positive only, and nothing requiring action or response.  🙂

Thankfully there was an emoticon at the end of the line or I’d think I was entering a peace treaty with Russia circa 1919. I suppose if I enjoy a nice chocolate bar or walk down the beach, I can email him solely if the email contains no questions or expectations that he would respond. Well, that leads one to wonder, why even bother at all? Life is full of drama and unexpected nonsense, which for me often warrants absolutely hilarity once the shock settles. Like the shock of “Surprise! When we were together years ago I was actually not really divorced and had a pregnant estranged wife at the time. But that was all in the past!”

So I can let the past be the past, floating downstream to tomorrow by one hour at a time, thankful to be an observer and artist. I’m just saddened, because we’re all in this together and all co-existing in the same world and every ripple affects a stream of people. I wrote a new song today surprisingly upbeat and content, in a head space that understands the only way to attract the good is to vibrate at the frequency of goodness. The moral code we’re given as kids seems so black and white, but I’m not sure judgment in that world really serves me a lot of good. I cannot change the choices of others and I can only shine a bit of light on their own lives by keeping true to love and compassion.  Sometimes those choices may include a bottle of wine and my Casio, but they will keep me going downstream and aligning with something greater than our logical minds tend to conjure. And everything that I’ve been through, good or bad, is defining what I truly desire and will attract in the future.

Back From Charleston

Who would’ve imagined with my penchant for Pat Conroy and the tour de force Bette Midler in “For The Boys” that the opportunity to perform for the Citadel would come up? Life certainly has one surprise after another around the bend. I’ve discovered my new favourite beer. It even tops a Guinness in my world and I’ve found myself yearning for the Palmetto Porter, with it’s rich hints of espresso and chocolate deliciousness.

Here are some photos from my travels, although I think the off-site location near a raging river, cool air, and rain was quite a preparation for my future performance at Jones Beach, where the weather is always a beast.

Signing cd’s after the Show

In The Secret Chambers For Bulldog Radio

Ready To Take Off